There's a free gig going on in the ballroom at the mo. It's about halfway through. I went to the first half. I propped up a pillar. I did not have a pint in my hand. Sad times. In fact, there were no drinks there.
So I went to Hubbards and got a slushie in the hope that my brain might be able to pretend that it was a daiquiri, like at the Gravedale gig at the Queen Charlotte. This is hard to do when there's no rum (why's all the rum gone?!) It's also hard to do when the band is crap and the only people you know at gig have either been roped into doing security or they walked in and walked back out again. I know it's a free gig and I know they're just local bands but seriously, I'm not a musician (well, my GCSE certificates beg to differ, but hey) but I know the following:
- Most alternative bands have the following four components - singer, guitarist, bassist, drummer.
- The singer is called the singer because they sing. You are mumbling. Therefore, you're not a singer, you're a mumbler. Seriously, I cannot understand a single word you're saying. If I wanted to listen to mumbling, I'd just record a conversation between me and Jack. I don't mumble...apple crumble.
- You sing into the microphone. It pics up the vibrations of your voice and makes them loud. You have the mic at a reasonable distance from your mouth and all is good. You don't have it so close to you that it looks like you have magnets it your mouth/you're performing a sex act on the mic. This also means that I can't make head nor tail of what you're saying.
- Finally, the singer (NOT mumbler) should be louder than the rest of the band. I want to hear the damn lyrics to get a gist of what the song is about, I can still hear the drummers syncopation/the epic chord sequence/the earthquake inducing bass underneath your vocals.
I don't expect bands to be perfect, especially not at this level. My God! I don't think I've seen a Witchers set where something didn't go wrong, and I've seen them twelve times (count 'em.) I do expect to be able to hear you though.
Oh yeah. Don't tell anybody but a certain rather sexy band from East Anglia had a meeting tonight with a record label. Ssh!
No comments:
Post a Comment